This is Joan’s Story……

My name is Joan and I currently volunteer for Hidden In His Strength for ‘The Survivor’s Walk” outreach.

Here is my Survivor story, I hope you learn a lesson or two.

Some years ago, I was a freshman at the Polytechnic Ibadan. I was young, matured, with curves in the right places and very fair-skinned, very attractive to say the least. this always puts me on the spot with men’s attention, the genesis of my many problems lol.

A few guys in my class around my age had asked me out on dates but with the kind of mum I have Uhmmmm I dare not, the thought of her finding out and what she will do to me even crippled me (The African Mum syndrome eh eh)

During my second year, all my friends were already in committed relationships except me, of course, my friends were mounting pressure on me to say yes to one of the boys….. talk of peer pressure yes I gave in eventually and I got into a relationship with this man.

It all started on a sunny afternoon, after lectures, just on my way home, Standing at the famous Coca-Cola joint was this tall, dark, well-built guy with very beautiful wide eyes.

He is a sight to behold. I wasn’t the only one catching feelings, he also noticed me as well. Bear in mind, he was an Alumni and he doesn’t live on Campus, the day we met He had come to pick up some documents at the time. He works and lives in Lagos.

He managed to do some background search on me, got my phone number off a mutual friend and we started talking.

He started asking me out on a date, but because he lived in a different town, I never obliged him. for a whole year, the answer was no- although we were chatting and talking friends during this one year

At the end of the year, I thought to myself “I think I know this guy enough now I can now date him ” Sighs….. Then I agreed to date him.

We started dating and within one week into the relationship, he called that he was ill and that I should come to Lagos to visit him, of course by this time, I was really into him.

When he asked him to visit, I thought that was really nice for him to ask, I felt real butterflies in my tummy, but I told him I would not be able to stay the night because of my sister’s wedding which was that same weekend and I have to be in Ibadan to help out with last-minute preparations. He agreed.

I set out on this journey, on getting to his street he sent someone over to pick me up and there we were facing each other after so many months being apart…  I hadn’t seen him in months.

He lives in a four-bedroom apartment well furnished and equipped. He hugged me and we kissed

After we kissed, we chatted and lunch came in with a bottle of wine (75%alcoholic) and a bottle of Orange juice

I politely declined the wine as I don’t drink.

A few minutes later, I went to the restroom and by the time I came back to drinking my leftover juice, he had already mixed in the wine with my juice, then I caught him watching me in a funny way and asking me to drink up. I started becoming really scared at this point, as I wasn’t sure what his end game is. Oh! I will drink it before I go was my reply ( he wasn’t pleased with my answer though) at this point I don’t give a care in the world.

I told him that it would be leaving soon. He said no worries just make sure you finish your cup of juice, then he stepped out to receive a call; I then returned my drink back into the wine bottle and pretended as if I had drunk it.

I think the initial plan was to get me drunk

When he came back, I saw his eyes shined bright looking at my emptied cup and then the speech on how late it was for me to travel started and that I won’t be able to go.

Aside from the fact that I never planned to sleep over (I could have actually slept over if he had not done all the sneaky stuff he did) I liked him that much, but he really turned me off when he mixed my drinks.

I braced myself up, carried my bag to leave just to get to the door and I discovered the door was locked and the key was no where to be found. Ha! I screamed then he started to laugh what are you up to young man I’m thinking in my mind. I was getting furious at this point like seriously?

I told him I would shout for the whole street to hear if he refused to open the door but guess what He said.

“You came all this way by yourself, no one would care”

Knowing the society where I grew up in, of course that is so true that’s exactly the way we were treated as women, “you walked into the man’s house now you don’t want to sleep with him you are a joker people will say”

I sat on the floor by the door with my bag on my laps, praying to God to let me out of the lion’s den like Daniel did.

I begged and cried, and pleaded, by this time it was almost evening sigh…

I was tired from the talking and begging and dehydrated at the same time but that didn’t matter I just wanted to leave. I was ready, for whatever, was coming my way and different thoughts was going through my head (I wasn’t planning to be a murderer but I knew I wasn’t going to allow this man to defile me either, If He is going to, it will definitely come with a price.

I stopped crying however the thought of what might happen to me was giving me cold shivers.

It took forever before he was through with whatever he was doing on his work computer.  He went to the kitchen and came out with a plate of noodles as dinner, I said no I’m not eating I just want to go home, Is that so difficult to understand?

I declined the food, I just want to go home I said. He told me there is no way I’m without him having sex with me.

He then left to take his shower (I stood up to peep through the window, there was no one in sight) But to my own surprise, he showered and went straight to bed.

I called one of my friends, to let her know the situation I am in, only for her to tell me that my Mum had called and is asking to speak with me.

Sighs

My roommate then advised to call her especially in the situation where I am.

Then, I had a movement, I ended the call to checkmate whatever might be

Lo and behold, it was Mr handsome standing at the door naked!

Oh my God🙊🙉

What the hell? (that was the first time I’ve ever had to see a naked man🙈)

I turned my face to the wall, knelt down begging him again to pardon me and I even promised to come back so we can talk it through. I said it’s easy for me to do it at my own time and not forcing himself on me but he didn’t listen. He said he is really horny and he just had to do it now.

I can’t fight this man, He works, He is really strong).

I was ready with my pen, as he moved closer I inserted my pen inside his ribs with all my strength, He Screamed and slapped me hard on the face, I went blind for about 5 minutes.

I couldn’t stop the tears coming down, the pain was deep and real

He beat me blue-black, I was bruised, battered and don’t forget I said I am fair skinned so you can imagine how my skin colour had changed, (red painful patches was everywhere)

He almost broke one of my legs. I broke some of his electronics in the process.

We fought till 4 am in the morning. I mean who fights a woman just for sex for the whole night. I concluded that day that most rapists do it for control not necessarily for the sex itself. He probably was tired too. He went inside one of the rooms and didn’t come back until 6 am when he was ready to take me to the motor park.

I couldn’t stop my tears. The pain was raw, deep. But somehow I was thankful. I could have died, or even committed murder as I could have killed him in my anger…

I forget to tell you that he called me like 500times to apologise that it was the devil… but It doesn’t matter anymore.

I was in the hospital for almost a week because of my injuries.

I survived, I wasn’t raped but I came close to being raped by a monster.

This is Joan’s survivor story, I hope you’ve learned a thing or two.

IfeOluwa

Founder, Hidden In His Strength