Read Abimbola’s story
How old were you when you first had sex? For some of us, we would expect the answer to be when I was 16, 18 or if you are from the older generation, when you got married, were 25? Or maybe 30?
What if I told you the first time, I had sex was when I was about 8 years old? Does that shock you?
What if I told you it was with a man that was probably in his early, the mid or late 30s?
What if I told you, no, of course, it wasn’t consensual because at that age I didn’t know what sex was.
And what if I told you even further that it happened in an unfinished house somewhere in the naked street of Nigeria, in broad daylight?
And what if I told you it happened more than once, and it was not until I got to the age of about 15, having lived in the U.K just over 6 years, that I began to understand, oh my goodness, I had been sexually abused!
It was not until then when I began to understand what sex was all about, that I realised oh my God, I have been a victim.  And while I don’t remember being traumatised as a child, the images stayed with me till this very moment as I type.
What if I told you even and up until two years ago, now in my late 30s, when I was watching television, and seeing a man that resembled my abuser, instantaneously, my heart skipped many beats and I jumped!
That is enough to tell me, deep within me there are unresolved issues surrounding this abuse and guess what, it did happen. It happened to me!
It is unfortunate that it is still happening to many young girls today across the world, and honestly, it is high time we do our part to put an end to these abuses because whether we believe it happens or not or whether we think it will only happen to them in the next street, in the next town, to another child somewhere, it could happen to someone or someone’s child you know. But of course, we do not hope or pray for such a happening.
Won’t it be nice if young children, both girls and boys can be informed about sexual education, sexual health, how to keep themselves safe and report any issues or forms of abuse at the earliest possible time?
If I had someone to educate me at that young age, perhaps I might not have been molested, and even if it had occurred once, perhaps we could have prevented it occurring again and again.
Did you know my abuser had the audacity to even come and see me at my guardian’s home? He would ask me to lie and claim to my guardian that he was my teacher from school. He would buy me things, give me a small amount of money and whenever it suited him, he would come to pick me up and off we went to the unfinished house.
“Pull down your pants.” he would instruct. “Bend down.†He would direct and do whatever he wanted to do.
I don’t even remember if it was painful, but I certainly remembered those were the first time I saw what an erected penis looked like, at age 8, what sperm looked like, It was the first time I noticed the smell, Although at the time I never knew or understood what any of this was, or what they meant!
While my story may not be as traumatising compared to the likes of young girls and women I have heard about who was violently raped and molested, not even by strangers, but by men that they knew and trusted, I know that the impact of such abuse can be lasting and devastating for many.
I am asking that you join me to support this walk as we go into these villages, towns and cities to create awareness and educated boys, girls, families, communities so that we can little by little eradicate this maltreated of our young ones today.
IfeOluwa
Founder Hidden In His Strength
Don’t be ashamed of your story it will inspire others ~Anonymous~
