Sometime during the course of the week, a friend put up a post on her Facebook wall about a situation which happened whilst she was in the University. A brother used to Nag her about how unholy and unrighteous she was. Why? She wears trousers, wears make up and paints her nails. He used to go on and on about how He can’t marry her and no man will because she’s too much of a fashionista, without mincing words no one will look my friend’s way she because of the way she dresses. If you have met this friend of mine, she is one of the most sensible people I know when it comes to fashion and the way she appears.

A few years later, guess who is getting married “our brother’ not only is his wife to be a fashionista, (I mean Hair, make up and heels all on fleek😎) she is also pregnant apparently they have been doing the do do whilst still courting or dating (Whatever we call it nowadays) this is the brother who couldn’t stand Sister A’s nice heels and contoured face🤓

This got me thinking “God’s standards Only ” Many a times we allow people have such control over our lives and decisions which affects or alter the standards which God has set for us especially on our Journey with Him. We are individuals and God deals with us individually. As individuals our journey and walk with God differs and varies from person to person. How God dealt with Joseph was totally different from the way he dealt with David. How He dealt with Mary was different from the way He dealt with Ruth. I can mention different characters from the bible and even in modern times the list is inexhaustible. So why should I be condemned or judged just because I look differently from what your opinion of a christian sister/Mother should be.

We all come from different walks of life, we have different journeys, some people are there, some aren’t  while some are still trying to figure things out.  It is all a process and we all should be respectful of each other’s process or journey.  I once listened to a supposedly relationship expert who said most ladies who embark on the marital journey  in their twenties aren’t matured enough to handle, marital issues and the pressure that comes with the institution. Therefore you are better off working in your twenties, gain some confidence, earn some money, save up and get married whilst in your thirties. It sounds about right isn’t it, however “all things are lawful but not all things are expedient” Actually this lady got married at 30 and was divorced a year later. weird right…. 

Anyways I have seen people change their lives dramatically just so they can conform to somebody else’s idea of how they should look, be or act like. However my question is What is God telling you, what are the standards God has set for you. Look no further my friend it’s all in the bible.  The Bible is our standard, what standard has God personally set for you? If you don’t know maybe this article could help you do some soul searching. Go and find out, However in the meantime stop trying to live out somebody else’s golden standards for your life.

 My Dad used to smoke and drink heavily in the early years of their marriage and mum threatened, fought,  did everything she could but He wouldn’t stop. The day my Dad prayed the prayer of salvation was the day he totally stopped drinking and smoking. Now tell me was that normal? Besides my Dad I can tell you some other people whose lives changed drastically when they made that life changing decision. I used my Dad as an example so you won’t say I made it up lol.

Here is the real deal when the Holy Spirit supernaturally arrests you, your life totally takes a new turn. I don’t care what you have done and where you have been. A lot of people try to take the role of the Holy Spirit in other people’s lives, and because it usually ends up badly, now when the tables turn, and the facade wears out, anger, resentment and bitterness sets in. How many people have been given prophecies which in turn destroyed their families and homes. Oh you couldn’t have a child because your mum is a witch, oh dear, Prophecies are meant to edify and bring good tidings not break up or cause rife in families or homes. How many men have left their wives and abandoned their children because a prophet told them she is the one orchestrating the many disasters in His life.

If you are reading this article I have good news for you, if a prophecy is not edifying you or confirming what God had already told you in your own secret place, It is not from God and my friend our God is not a confused God. He is consistent, He is faithful, He is true and His words are YES AND AMEN.

I digressed a little bit now back to my main point, A lot of people find it difficult to break away from deadly and bad habits because they have been condemned and judged too many times and have unconsciously settled into that condemned life,  whereas a little love, a little perseverance, a beautiful word of encouragement, positive and affirmative words could be the big break they have always desired. Remember a little here, a little there makes a mighty ocean. 

We have different church denominations which act as different support system for different classes of people. Some allow all forms and shades of fashion, whilst some are very strict on looks, that doesn’t make neither wrong. We can’t all look the same, variety is the spice of life anyways 😀find out what works best for you and stick to it. Go on a journey for self discovery. Do some soul searching. Embark on an audience of one with Abba, Live life Intentionally. Don’t apologise for it. Take responsibility for your life.

Love yourself and be unapologetic about it. Until you understand that Christ loves you unconditionally, then you are able to walk only in the standards that He has set for you.

Remember “Where Love is Lacking Abuse is inevitable”

Don’t ever allow yourself be a subject of somebody else’s inadequacies.

To that Brother or Sister who has just started their walk with God, I believe that God will always bring genuine people your way who would teach you the right way… But in the mean time don’t stop asking God questions, Grind yourself in the word, Follow the essential bits… Walk in Love. Let me leave you with something a Man of God whom I respect so much said

Bishop Francis Wale Oke said and I quote

“Our Christian beliefs are broken into two, The Essentials and The Non-Essentials

Essentials:- You being born again, The birth of Christ, Living a righteous and Holy Life.

Non-Essentials:- I wear Trousers you don’t wear trousers. I have natural hair, Mine is straightened, I paint my face, you don’t  These are non-essentials. 

In Essentials there must be unity, 

In the Non-Essentials there must be Liberty,

But in everything Charity! LOVE.

My journey is totally different from yours and yours is absolutely different to mine. Whilst we are on our different journeys lets ask for grace, resilience, Lets go into it with the right attitude, equip yourself with the right materials, surround yourself with like-minded and positive folks who is heading in the same direction as you are.  

Till I come your way next time, Remember you are Abba’s beautiful creation, don’t sell yourself short.