Hello family..
How are y’all doing? Life’s been throwing curveballs eh… Don’t worry we will always win by His grace…
Here’s my question for the day
How healthy is your Self esteem???
Great, Average, Just there, Or low….
Your sense of self should always be a 💯💯 all the time. Because that is what makes You, YOU.
“Baumeister et al 2003 described Self esteem has accepting oneself with an accurate appreciation of one’s strengths and worth”
A very low outlook of self is one of the direct consequences of sexual abuse.
Having interacted with people who are survivors, I often hear words like “I don’t feel worthy anymore, “I feel like I have bad luck, ill luck follows me around” I just want to be left alone” People are talking about me” what will people say” I hate my body” I feel so sick each time I look at myself in the mirror”.
These are emotions that whip through the mind when the body has been violated and it is absolutely normal to feel that way, but it is unhealthy for your self esteem to stay that way.
Regardless of how confident or how highly you think of yourself it takes just one singular experience to knock that esteem in the boots and this could take years to rebuild if care is not taken.
Here’s a few Rhetorical Questions…
Do you Get defensive all the time?
Do you avoid taking responsibility?
Are you reclusive? avoiding other people’s company (There is a difference between been an introvert to being reclusive just because you don’t feel like you can match up with others).
Do you talk ill of others or just being envious of other people’s do you often reject compliments because you just don’t feel worthy of those compliments?
This post is not meant to make you feel a certain way, or open a can of worms, this post is meant to help you evaluate where you are at and help you to pick the pieces, make something awesome out of it and become the amazing person that God wants you to be.
I don’t know it all, maybe I don’t know anything lol, I can be as clueless as you are sometimes, but the tips I am going to share are some of the things that has helped me to pick myself back when I struggled with my self esteem amongst other things, Experience they say is the best teacher eh….
Here is a few tips which can help boost that esteem👇🏽👇🏽
1. LOVE YOURSELF, SELF CARE😎😎
Love yourself first. It is very unfair for you to ask others to love you when you don’t even love yourself.
Don’t be selfish lol but think about yourself, Practise self care. Admire and take good care of your body. Love the gifts and talents that God has deposited in you. Take on compliments. Feel good about yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and smile, Be happy with your strengths.
Jeremiah 31: 3 ” The Lord appeared to us in the past saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I am sure you are asking where is God in my situation, He is there, you need to look beyond that situation and start proclaiming and savouring is love.
When you love yourself, people can smell it from a mile away therefore it makes it hard for them to treat you wrongly because they know you won’t allow it.
It uplifts your sense of self, you can smell when someone wants to abuse or use you from a mile away. Self love helps you understand who you truly are in Christ which gives you are strong sense of your hope and calling in Christ therefore you treat yourself with the highest regard and respect, allowing others to follow suit. You love yourself and treat others accordingly.
Treat Yourself like Christ would. Why because you are created in his image and in his likeness. He loves you first.
2. BUILD GREAT RELATIONSHIPS BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT IT.👩❤️👩
Building solid friendships and relationships is a beautiful thing.
You will not be everyone’s friend neither can everyone be your friend. Ask yourself this question am I good friend? you can’t give what you don’t have.
Can my friends really count on me when the chips are down?
Am I loyal?
Can I be trusted?
Am I dependable?
The universe has a way of giving this things back to you. If you are dependable, honest and loyal… 95percent chances are you will attract the same kind of people. Don’t get me wrong not all the time but you will find some people in your corner in the end. Just wait for it.
I have heard people say words like ”
“accept me for who I am”
Well that’s not a problem but if I clone a version of you right now, can you accept You for who you are, I bet you can’t. How do you then expect people to accept that version of you? It’s unfair is it.
Work on those Character flaws be Authentic with yourself, Be real, drop the mask, face the music, Build great relationships with people, be loyal.
You will get that loyalty back not necessarily from the people you give it to but I know for a fact it always comeTruth be told don’t be loyal because you expect it in return do it because its the right thing to do. It is what makes you a great person. do it because it looks good on you.
3. POSITIVE VIBES HERE PLEASE, BE DELIBERATE 😍
If your self esteem is in the boots, Take time out to fill your spaces with positive vibes.
Don’t hang around folks who get off by making you feel worse. Leave behind everything that knocks your confidence off.
Read positive quotes to yourself out loud, the more you say it, the more believable it seems. Regardless of how you feel or you think you look, there is something amazing that Abba has deposited on the inside of you, feed those things instead.
Hang around folks that lift you up. Truth be told to some people you are cinnamon cider whilst to some people you will always be ordinary water, why not hang around the people that makes you feel like cinnamon cider and ignore the ones that thinks you are just ordinary water.
4. GOSH!! YOU ARE BREATHTAKING GORGEOUS, BEAUTY PERSONIFIED👸🎉
You are fearfully and wonderfully made… I didn’t say it, Abba himself did.
The one who knew you, formed you before you were born said it.
Why are you discounting what God himself said and has called into existence.
You are beautiful regardless of your past, regardless of that skin condition, regardless of those burns, regardless of those huge scars. you are BEAUTIFUL. Beauty transcends beyond the physical it is an emotion that comes from within.
What happened is not fault, let me remind you again, someone horrible did something horrible to you, it is not your FAULT. Do not allow people’s insecurities affect your reality. People who are known to commit such crimes, have deep sited egoistic issues, do not allow their own reality to taint your own now or even your tomorrow.
I know its hard, but you gotta keep moving, you gotta keep going, you gotta keep pressing. You cannot afford to stay down, you gotta brush up and brace up, There is greatness on the inside of you, you are the child of the King of Kings. you have talents and gifts deposited on the inside of you, Do not allow that situation to dampen your spirit, be confident, Arise and Shine for your light as indeed come and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.
5. Wear those scars with pride…💁🏼💁🏼
Your Scars are like part of the best medals you will ever wear. Unlike many ceremonial medals, they are UNREMOVABLE testaments of your VICTORIES. A reminder of your journey through a PAINFUL but BEAUTIFUL recovery “Tomistone”
This quote by my lovely friend Tomi Emmanuel sums it all up, need I say more. Do not be ashamed of those beautiful scars, Do not hide them they are called scars for a reason. They are there to remind you that you are a SURVIVOR. You are victorious, you are going to get through this and come out on the other side shinning bright like a diamond. Keep it moving darling, the world needs you, the world needs to hear your story. Get your confidence, get your self esteem. Soar High.
In order to achieve greatness, you sense of self needs to be 💯
Get up and Get moving….
You are greatness personified.
Cheers.
IfeOluwa
