Yay; we are in April already; wow! The first quarter of the year is gone so quickly…. I’m grateful for being here; some aren’t so privileged. I do not take it for granted; so you shouldn’t either.

April is one of my favourite months of the year. It is the month when we celebrate salvation, freedom, love, grace; we celebrate Easter; a wonderful reminder of the awesomeness of Jesus. Dying for my sin; bearing my pain, my shame, my hurts, my burden on His shoulder so that I might be totally free! He is a representative of love in human flesh! Let me not digress; this is a word for another day 😊

Looking back at the beginning of the year; I usually breakdown my goals quarterly, as I find them easier to accomplish and manage rather than for the whole year. Late Last year I broke down my goals into the first, second, third and final quarter of this year. Flashback to the first quarter of this year; I literally accomplished all the tasks set for the first quarter, except for one of them, which I hope to squash alongside the ones I’ve set for the second quarter. I am not a very organised person, my friends can attest to this, I procrastinate a lot and I am your last minute kind of girl; so achieving most of my goals for the first quarter actually means a lot to me, I probably should have a tub of ice cream as a treat to celebrate this feat. (Haven’t tasted that in a while).

To the main reason why I wrote this!

I am a fair skinned girl and growing up; I was the fair girl around the block. I was very different from my siblings due to my skin colour. Being fair skinned was very attractive and I was the “lightens up the room kinda girl”. I got picked up on a lot because of this; i was teased a lot and was considered different. I grew up knowing that strangers would ask my mum if I was  her niece because in their minds i didn’t look like the other children.(Nigerians and their ways lol). I used to get the ‘end of the stick’ because I would take the fall for everyone’s wrong doing, as I was easily noticeable. Oh; how i hated my skin colour. I blamed every end of the stick i got at the time to my skin tone, Oh; I wanted to look like my sisters; I wanted to be a bit darker, Even when people gave positive comments about how good my skin tone looks, it made me even hate it more; as I felt I was attracting undue attention to myself. I just wanted to be normal like every other child around me; I just didn’t feel comfortable in my skin.  I got called names like Yellow pawpaw, Molato, Mama Pupa, ETC. My friends still call me some of those names but we just laugh it off now. Back in the days, I used to cry myself to sleep after being addressed in such way.

Becoming a teenager; people were quick to judge me based on skin colour. Everyone assumed I was the promiscuous one; just because fair skinned girls have a certain reputation (how people came about that Judgement I have no idea). I hated being the  fair skinned yellow pawpaw girl; I just wanted to be like most people around me. This stayed with me for years and affected some of the decisions I made earlier on in life in regards to values and esteem.

The question is; am I still fair skinned? Yes I am. (I really cannot change that; can I?) But what has changed? Here is the simple answer……..

Jesus made the difference; He found me. His Grace made the difference. I found my voice; Jesus showed me it is not about how I look because He carefully, and wonderfully made me. I grew up in Church; trust me I have heard that verse of the bible ‘a million and one times’ so I am sure you are probably thinking the same thing. Yes I am fearfully and wonderfully made but I still do not feel right. The Holy Spirit helped me to come to the realisation of that fact. He reminded me and told it to me over and over again, especially through his words, also through people who prayed for me and more so, through his acts of love towards me. The wonderful thing about God is; he never gives up on people, He will keep nudging and showing up in ways or through things that you won’t even think or imagine.

The inner voice in me (THE HOLY SPIRIT) helped me to realise that; not only am I created in his image but also in his likeness. Genesis 1:26a (NLT) Then God said Let us make Human Beings in our image to be like us! Then it struck me; boom!!!!!!!

I am made after God’s likeness; I have his skin tone, colour, intellects, abilities, creativities, and good looks, 😃. He created me well; He knew me before he formed me; He wanted me to look just exactly the way I do. So why do I detest my skin tone so much, when the most important person in the world created me after himself? He loved me beyond words; he created and crafted every inch of me beautifully. Then I stopped; I rather started seeing myself in His light; in His awesomeness. I am beautiful; I am a royal priesthood, a Holy nation, called to do greater works. I stopped focusing on my inadequacies, I started concentrating on my strengths, my passion, my purpose. It really does not matter anymore how I look; what matters most is His eternal unshakeable and undying love for me. That was enough; I stopped seeking validity from ‘MAN’, but from God. the maker of heaven and earth. The one who holds the whole world in his mighty grip; the ancient of days; the mighty one who speaks through humans. The one who doesn’t make mistakes; the one who is mightier than the mightiest; the one who fights my battles without me lifting a finger; the one who gives me strength, even in my most lowly state. The one who identifies with me when no one wants to; the one who provides for me when I have nothing; the one who does things that leaves me dazed and the one who is never tired, never sleeps nor slumbers. I am beyond convinced that I can call Him Father, Abba, My Saviour, My Rock, My Strong tower, My King and My Lord.

I see myself differently now; I look at myself and I see a beautiful woman; a go getter and a trend setter. God hasn’t created me to be judged or to be limited based on the colour of my skin. I am created to make a difference to my world; to put smiles on people’s faces and to be a source of joy to my parents.

I wish to say: “You can too”; You can overcome self and start walking in dominion and liberty. You can be free! Yes YOU.  If you say it long enough, it will become real. You can change your reality by creating or speaking it into existence. You cannot give what you do not have. You need to address yourself in a certain way if you want people to give you the same accolade. You need to respect yourself first and value yourself before people can. Ignore the snide comments; “yes you can”. Just focus on how to improve on your values, Enjoy being either fair or dark skinned because that is you; your identity; God’s creation. It may hurt but if I can, so can YOU.

I remember when my daughter started learning about colours at school, she came home one day trying to identify members of her family based on thier skin colours. She identified everyone else as brown skinned, She looked at me and said mummy is orange. Oh! I laughed so hard that day; I realised how much I have overcome my colour issues; some years back I would have sulked for several days. That’s how God works; He changes you without you even realising it. Embrace his change today and trust me, you will not regret it.

I enjoy being different, It is my skin colour, I love it and I’m comfortable in it, I have embraced it and I take very good care of my skin. I want it to glow fit for the master’s use.

Until I come your way next time; remember; you are not defined or limited by your skin colour; your assignment is far more important and greater than that.

You are a princess never forget that 😎