Being a survivor myself, for a long time I stood in the dark and kept mute about my own fair share of my ordeals… I battled demons was and feeling all kinds of emotion which I did not understand neither did I have answers.

I carried Shame, guilt, blame, hurt, pain around like a plaque, to every one else I was a happy child, full of life. But I covered it up so well, lived such a secretive and double kind of life. It became all very exhausting and I reached my wits. I wanted it all to end. But Grace found me! During this Journey of self discovery I found my true purpose. I was given a second shot at life despite all.

I believe there is a young girl out there calling out reaching out but no one is listening. Life gets busy and we all go about our normal business.

Every single day a young teenage girl somewhere is being forced, coerced or touched inappropriately and might probably get blamed because she is isn’t dressed appropiately. Please do not get me wrong, I am an advocate for covering up however, someone’s indecent dressing should never ever be an excuse for why they get raped. Why some people still go with this school of thought beats the life out of me.   

In most African countries 8 in 10 girls will experience a form of sexual violence before they reach the age of 18🙄🙄🙆🏻🙆🏻🙆🏻😥😥😥😥

Very Sad..

I personally cannot help everyone who is a survivor but I will not stop at nothing to see that young girls are protected.

This has gone for too long because folks cover up and act like nothing happened, Parents even after discovering sometimes brush it under the carpet because they don’t want to destroy family ties.

Families had been victimised because the person involved is a rich and influential member of the society.

Girls have been let down because the person who is involved is their Auntie’s husband, and it’s been hushed down.

HouseMaids have been beaten and even physically abused by the Oga madams, they are to be blamed because they were the ones flaunting themselves for Oga to rape them🙊🙊🙊. How can a 12year old be the one flaunting herself for Oga to get raped, By the way why is a 12year old working as a maid, it beats the life out of me. they should be in school. 

Ps. This is to people who employ underaged girls for maids, food for thought for y’all. 

Mothers have shut up and stayed in marriages where their daughter have been abused by their own dads! sighs!

When does this stop, where do we draw the line… Not any form of sexual abuse is ever okay. Guess what most of the times, the people who perpetrate this heinous acts are people within the circle, A family member, close friends,  A neighbour, people you really trust. 

Please don’t ever keep quiet if you notice that a neighbour’s child is been abused please speak out, If you see that an house maid/keeper is been abused don’t turn a blind eye..👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. It is your business, It is my business. 

I would rather be tagged the woman who doesn’t mind her own business than see another child experience what I went through as a child.

Lastly Parents don’t shut your children up, listen to them, know your child, If you suspect anything I repeat if you suspect anything speak out seek help, Investigate don’t assume your child is making things up. I would rather be wrong than regret things later. Anti-retro drugs reduces the chances of getting the HIV virus within the first 24hours of having unprotected sex. If someone has been raped, getting these medications within the first 24hours would greatly reduce their chances of getting infected by the HIV virus. Many people have been infected by the deadly virus after been sexually violated. It is bad enough that you have been raped now getting a virus that has no cure. Please speak out and get professional help. 

As a young child being sexually violated, it takes God to restore what’s been lost, some never get it back, It scars you for life. 

I’m speaking from my heart, Sexual Violence is horrifying, For an adult it’s horrifying now imagine a child. A child…… I have decided to be the voice for the voice for the child I once was, for the little girl who has no voice.

To every survivor out there! I am with you, I will be your voice and I will stick my neck out for you.

You are not alone… We are in this together.

If you Happen to discover a friend or family of yours have been sexually abused Here are some do’s and don’ts

1. Listen to them, don’t talk over them.
2. Get them checked out in an hospital, Get anti-retro medications immediately, run necessary tests against STDs amongst others.
3. Don’t leave them by their self and don’t be too much in their personal space either.
4. Don’t spread the news, don’t start calling other friends and families to share the gospel, it’s embarrassing enough that this has happened don’t be the carrier of bad news, they can share their own story whenever they are ready. 
5. Be positive, don’t compare stories.. Every single story is unique in itself
6. Don’t blame yourself it happened if you are a parent, as hard as it sounds it doesn’t do any help.. If you do blame yourself, we will have two people who cannot help each other, rather two broken people who are of no use to each other. As a parent you have to be strong and be there to strongly support your child.
7. Never ever discount or dismiss a survivors story, Even if they are lying, check first do your findings. 99percent of the time it’s always true.
8. Let them cry if they want to… It’s Therapeutic.
9. Don’t go for jungle justice, let the law takes it course.. You don’t want somebody’s blood on your hands. Don’t make brash decisions because you are emotional.
10. Parents know and understand your children.. Protect and call out for help, if you need to. Rather be paranoid than be wrong about certain situations.
11. Pray for that individual. True healing comes from the giver of life… He’s the biggest comforter. He’s the only one who can take the pain away.

12. Remember there are 5 stages of grief, let them grieve. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and acceptance. be prepared to help them through those five stages, get counselling together, it is advisable. But Most importantly The “Holy Spirit” is your biggest counsellor never discount that. 

Do you want to join “The Survivor’s walk Initiative” Please email us @ volunteer@thesurvivorswalk.com

Ps. Do you have a story to share please do inbox me privately… ifeoluwa@hiddeninhisstrength.com😥

Until I come your way next time, I leave you with Abba’s blessings.

IfeOluwa Iyaniwura.